STEVEN EXPLODES THE UNIVERSE
by BagofChaaaps
Summary: OH NO STEVEN STOLE THE MAGICAL TOOTHBRUSH AND IS NOW GOING TO EXPLODE THE WHOLE UNIVERSE. (this story is only for the laughs) WARNING: This story may have some minor cussing here and there but nothing super super bad
1. THE TOOTHBRUSH

**Authors Note: This story is meant ONLY for the laughs. Its not serious in any way. This is just a hilarious story that makes no sense. Who cares is there's spelling mistakes. Okay this is pure stupidity but its hilarious to i don't care anymore. Thank You.**

Steven walked to peridot and stole her toothbrush one day. Peridot thought the toothbrush was her weapon. Peridot almost exploded.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THATS MAH WEAPONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN STOVE DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEE" The green gem exploded and then became ded.

Steven had the magical toothbrush. (dun dunn dunnnnn) He was going to explode the universe. (yey)

Steven first rode lion to the temple. He knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Pearl asked from inside. (pretend there's a wooden door and not a screen door)

"Its the pizza guy"

Amethyst ran to the door. Steven pointed the magical toothbrush at the door. She opened the door and then Amethyst exploded. The gems werent looking and didnt notice amethyst was gone.

THENNNNNNN...

Steven pointed his magical toothbrush at lion and made lion immortal with powers. Then steven rode lion while lion pooped rainbows in space. Then steven flew out of the whole universe and pointed the MAGICAL TOOTHBRUSH at the universe. THEN THE WHOLE WORLD EXPLODED. THEN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE EXPLODED. THE EXPLOSION WAS SO BIG THAT STEVEN WAS PUSHED IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE...

TO BE CONTINUED...


	2. ILLUMINATI UNIVERSE

**Authors Note: this is just plain stupidity wrapped in comedy. Who cares if theres spelling mistakes because that makes it funnier. THank you and goodbye my fab readerz.**

Steven was drifting off to another universe.

0459915479857139857093847590146380670952348978453789254827345087203894572309847590283 years later...

Steven has finally made it to another universe. Steven has some how survived in space for over a trillion years. How was this even possible? Steven was still riding on his rainbow pooping lion until he saw the new universe he was heading to.

It was full of stars. The universe was the shape of a triangle.

"OH NO! ITS THE ILLUMINATI! WAIT NO THATS A KIND OF PASTA... WAIT ITS A KIND OF PIZZA! OH NO! WE ARE HEADING IN A UNIVERSE OF PIZZAS!" Steven yelled into the empty space.

lion stared at steven. "THATS NOT A KIND OF BIRD YOU DUMMY! THATS A TRIANGLE. OH. WAIT. ITS MAYBE A PASTA. NO WAIT ITS A TYPE OF WATERMELLON! STEVEN WERE HEADING TO A WATERMELLON UNIVERSE! WAIT NO! ILLUMINATI IS A KIND OF POTATO! I KNEW IT ALL ALONG!"

Steven nearly exploded. "YOU ARE RIGHT! ITS A TYPE OF POTATO LION! WE MUST DESTROY THIS UNIVERSE! ITS TOO DANGEROUS!"

"AHEM.."

They looked behind them. oh noes! its pearl!

"STEVEN! WHY ARE YOU OUT THIS FAR IN SPACE? OH WAIT GOODBYE I FORGOT IM A BIRD. BIRDS DONT TALK. BYE CHILD"

pearl shapeshifted wings and flew into the triangle universe.

"SQUACK! IM A BIRB!" PEARL FLAPPED HER FAB WHITE SWAN WINGS AND FLEW TO THE TRIANGLE UNIVERSE AT FULL SPEED.

"BYE BIRB MUM!"

"BYE BIRB CHILD" Steven smiled at the fab birb mom

then pearl flew into the universe and caused the whole universe to explode. it created a black hole in the universe. Steven and lion got sucked into the black hole.

WHO KNOWS WHAT TROUBLE THEY WILL FIND IN THIS NEW GALAXY. IN A NEW TIME, SPACE, AND LIFE. AND DERPYNESS. AND I DONT EVEN KNOW ANYMORE.

TO BE CONTINUED... (dunnn dunnnnnnnnnn duuuunnnnn)


	3. lionland

**Authors Note: there are spelling mistakes on this chapter on purpose because its kinda funny to me... there is a reference to a videogame in this chapter. its called undertale. if you dont know what it is, dont worry you will still understand this chapter like any old person!**

After many seconds (12 seconds) of being in a black hole ...

Steven and Lion awoke floating through the emptyness and quietness of space- maybe exept that giant yellow goat yelling from a few million miles away. There was nothing but distant rainbow flashing stars that can blind you and that enormous planet that was pink, fluffy, and kinda looked like lion.

Lion stared at the planet. "Well, thats new. You think we should check it out because we are literally sitting in space with no air and we are seriously gonna die if we sit here."

Steven started freaking out because he just remembered that he needed to breathe to live. He also barely realized you need to eat food to survive and questions himself how he is even alive. Lion doesnt notice because he is too busy biting his nails off and eating space ticks off his mane.

Steven tapped Lion's shoulder. (why am i making lion look like a human) "You ready to go to that planet that we never heard of and might kill us because there might be randomly aliens besides gems there?"

Steven didn't even understand what Lion said and stupidly said yes.

"OKAY STEVEN SO GO JUMP ON MY SPACE FLEA INFECTED BACK SO WE CAN GET TO THE PLANET BEFORE WE DIE FROM NO BREATHING BECAUSE APPARENTLY WEVE BEEN HOLDING OUR BREATHS FOR OVER A BILLION YEARS AND THAT ONLY HAPPENED BECAUSE THE AUTHOR SAID THAT AND TYPED IT UP ON HER TRASHY FANFICTION ACCOUNT." Before Steven could answer such a stupid sentence, Lion pounced off nothing and flew as fast as a meteor crashing into a planet.

As they flew to the planet, Steven took out his phone and followed this story on fanfiction. He was able to use the internet in space because Lion ate the wifi router a few years ago and apparently it still works.

Once Steven finished reading the first 2 chapters of this story and then put his phone away, he realized that the were very close to the ground. They were just above the pink clouds that randomly generated dubstep music in the backround. Oh boy. What kind of planet was this? Lion and Steven looked below. There was a beach city. The one they knew. The one they lived in. BUT WAIT THERES SOMETHING FISHYYYYYYY... OH YEAH! ITS THAT ALL OF THE PLANTS WERE PINK AND THE WATER WAS RAINBOW AND THE SKY WAS PURE BLINDING WHITE AND THE PEOPLE. OH DEAR GOD NO. THEY WERE LION. YEP. THE LOIN THATS PINK AND MAGICAL. THE PEOPLE WERE LIONS. PINK LIONS. BUT WAIT THERES SOMETHING DIFFERENT! THEY WERE WALKING ON THEIR HIND LEGS AND HAD CLOTHES. THERE WAS ALL THE PEOpLE STEVEN KNEW EXEPT THEY WERE LIONS. THATS... UNUSUAL.

Steven was about to panic to death and jump off Lions back and die, but Lion stopped him. Lion had something planned on his mind.

"Hey Steven!" Lion held steven like a baby. Below them was a basketball court. They were right above one of the hoops. Lion snickered to himself.

"LION IM UNCOMFORTABLE AND IM NOT A BABY. IM A BABY JEEZ LION WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS AND IM SO ANGRY FOR NO EXACT REASON AND THAT FANFICTION STORY I WAS READING WAS SO BORING AND-" Lion held Steven up and then threw him straight down onto the floor. Of course steven didnt hit the floor.

STEVEN FELL THROUGH THE SKY AND YELLED. THEN WHOOSH! HE FELL THROUGH THE BASKET BALL HOOP.

Lion stood there and looked at steven with a REALLY REALLY UN EXPLAINABLE STUPID FACE. THen Lion did it.

"GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT DUNKED ONNNNNNNNNNNN!"

*zooms in on Lions face as he put on some cheap sunglasses from the 99 cents store. the dubstep music continues as it zooms out of his face*

Steven was certainly not happy. As Lion was distracted from posting the video on youtube, Steven somehow magically picked him up, flew into the sky, then he did it.

Lion's phone fell out of his paws and he cried like a 6 year old at target that is throwing a tantrum because their parents wont buy them an x box one. Steven had no care in the world about that phone only because he had his own and now he can brag about it. Steven threw lion straight down the hoop just as lion did a few minutes ago.

WHOOSH! ENORMOUS THUMP! Lion just had been thrown through the hoop. You can already guess what steven said.

"GEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTT DUNKED ONNNNNNNNNNNNN!"

Lion had just been dunked on. He actually fainted on the floor and then steven fainted from yelling so loud.

They both woke up with lion heads looking at them. They all were watching the two stupid friends. What are they going to do? Steven and lion will have to survive on this planet. THEY MUST STAY DETERMINED THAT THEY WILL SOON LEAVE THIS PLANET AND SOMEHOW GET HOME. WE will see why these lion are staring at them and we will see how their reaction is when they figure out that theres going to be another chapter on this.

TO BE CONTINUED...

the thought of another chapter being uploaded on this story... it fills you with determination.


	4. I am back! And our heroes are in danger!

Authors **Note: So. Its been two years, and i found my old fanfiction account, and so ive decided i should continue this garbage story! Welcome back everyone! Also WARNING: just some cussing here and ther because i was innocent when i first started the story, but not anymore im now infested with evilness *evil laughing* hahhaahahhaha sorry... *distant crying*  
**

 **ANYWAYS WE SHALL CONTINUE! GOTTA BLAST!**

So. The lions crowded the bodies of an ugly sleeping Stephen and Tony the ti- I mean Lion. What were these suspicious lions up to? Are they murderers? Are they just watching steven and lion sleep? Are they not actually lions? WELL GUESS WHAT KID BE PATIENT FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z (im kidding okay ive gotten really rude over time sadly)

Ziipppppp... Huh? Whats that? Are they taking their suits off? Are you telling me they are furries? Oh well, as long as they dont yiff steven and lion... haha...ha...oh god. Anyways... Then one of the... spooky mystery people behind the suit sneezed directly on Lion's face! EW HOW DISGUSTING HOW COULD THE AUTHOR BE SO MEAN TO YOU LION WHYYYYY

Lion awoke with a start, feeling the slime hit his face. "oh yummy" And he licked it off his face because i dont know im running out of ideas haha He then looked at his ugly smelly owner stoven galaxy. Ew. "STEVEN MAN WE GOTTA GO THE LIONS ARENT ACTUALLY LIONS WE GOTTA RUN BEFORE WE DIE"

Steven awoke to Lions disgusting screechy scratchy cracky foul voice accompanied by his smelly fish breath from the tuna he ate the day before. Do you smell it? That smell? A kind of smelly smell, a smelly smell that smells...smelly.

*GA SP* STEVEN DRAMATICALLY GASPED LIKE AND THEN GAGGED AND THEN FELL DRAMATICALLY AND THEN COUGHED UP SOME BLOOD DRAMATICALLY AND DID SOME MORE DRAMATIC STUFF AND THEN DIED FROM THE TERRIBLE SMELL OF LIONS BREATH! OH DEAR! REST IN PISS STEVEN UTHERA! YOU POOR CREATURE!

Lion gasped in shock! HIS AMAZING STUPID UGLY OWNER! But then Lion smiled and made a smug toothy grin, lets say it was even more smug then Yellow Zircon, Yellow Pearl, and Aquamarines smile combined. Yeah. That explains it well. "THERE AINT ROOM FOR THE BOTH OF US PINHEAD AHAHHAAH!" But then Lion was hit with vietnam war flashbacks and remembered the good times with steven. Oh scoliosis universe, you were a great one.

And then the most mind blowing thing in the whole world happened. It was so mindblowing, its 99% guaranteed you will shit yourself. Wonderful, isnt it? SO LION GOT SAD FROM HIS FLASHBACKS, OF COURSE, AND THEN HE CRIED ON STEVEN. AND OH BOY... WHAT HAPPENED? STEVEN BECAME PINK! BOY OH BOY LIONISPINKLARSCONFIRMED2K17WHAT EVEN 420 BLAZE IT KILL ME I HAVE CRIPPLING DEPRESSION

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BINGO BONGO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And then steven was alive again! Wow! I could have never guessed that in a million years! So original! So clever! Now steven is technically jesus! Oh my stars! But then steven and lion forgot there was a crowd of what we thought were lions watching them! The leader walked to them magestically. Is it the author of the journals? i hope not. Good because it isnt. The leader looked at steven in disgust. "My rocks are tumbled, what are you two doing in Zircon territory? Yall are about to get some ass whoopin because youre in trouble!"

TO BE CONTINUED OH BOI AMAZING CLIFFHANGER WOOWOWOWWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWWOOSADFUHASIFUHASFUHUFHUADFFHUAHSFIUHADSFIUHASFUHASF


End file.
